My Occupation on Earth Day
We build single family homes.
Or maybe I should describe it as - we desecrate nature's beautiful and delicate perfection by gashing and gutting the fruitful and feral earth, ripping flora and fauna from its life source, entombing the ground with a cold, hard impenetrable smashed rock, castrating the virile soil from cradling the untouched seedlings and unsoiled greens. By haphazardly hammering together these boxes composed of tree corpses and unnatural material we oust, we expel, we evict the cute and innocent four legged, two winged, and slimy skinned fellow inhabitants from their protective and pristine homes. Yes, that's right we smash, bash, and shatter; we beat, blow, and pulverize. We demolish, demean, and consume with a rakish smile.
And so we erect these abominations that frivolously shelter garbage bearing, noise supplying, fume yielding, nauseating, repugnant, vile, shameless humans just so these repulsive, gross, foul, vulgar, stinking humans can scrape the landscape by driving their metal contraptions, their vibrating cans of destruction farther and farther from necessity.
But I like to think of what we do is rearrange the chaos in a more organized manner; that's right, we finish the job that god started; basically, what I am saying is we tell mother nature to go back to the kitchen, we're setting the table.
And no, he doesn't buy the whole "global warming" thing... and yes, he used to be a champion swimmer in his glory days. He is Libertarian... which I think explains everything.
