"That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger"

I drafted the title of this post back in November of last year.  That's how long it has been... I never really wrote anything that day, just the title.  It's time to write something about it and put everything to rest, it's time to move on.

Break ups are tough and painful and just a bitch to go through... unless they're not really break ups and merely rejection.  What hurts more?  I don't think that matters at this point.  Although, rejection has the added stab to your ego... a real excrutiating pain to your sense of self. 

I wish I could blame it all on him, but I was a big part of the problem.  I kept holding on to things when I shouldn't have been.  I had unfounded expectations when I should have been more honest with myself.  I knew the deal... and I should have started the conversation earlier.  BUT I'm stubborn and sometimes, I just enjoy living in a fairy tale.  I also knew that it was going to be difficult to hear the truth. 

My friends were great about this whole thing.  They listened (a lot!) and voiced their opinions on the matter.  Of course, I was the hard-head and went on with my delusions.  They never said, "I told you so" even if they so want to do it, they knew I will realize the shit I'm in sooner or later (or much later).  I love them. 

It's a tale as old as time.  Girl likes boy, boy doesn't like girl back.  In my story, girl will shed (a lot!) of tears, but she knows she must move on.  Girl will wipe her tears, stand up with her head held high.  She will not hate.  She will be a better person.  She will be happy like she was before she met him. 

Ermagherd! It's 2013?!

It seems like I fell into a deep sleep and woke up to a new year.  It's not even that new anymore... we're almost a quarter through the year.  Where has all the time gone?  I think I did try to push the pause button, not realizing that the world will continue on even without me.  What a cruel world.  

Just off the top of my head, here are the things that have happened since April 2, 2010:

• The SF Giants won the World Series --- twice, in 2010 and 2012.
• Don't Ask, Don't Tell got repealed
• Arab Spring
• Bin Laden and Gadhafi are goners
• Japanese Earthquake and Tsunami
• Liz Taylor died and Lindsay Lohan played her in a Lifetime movie, other celebrity deaths:  JD Salinger, Amy Winehouse, Steve Jobs, Kim Jong Il, Whitney Houston, Adam Yauch*, Neil Armstrong* (*we share the same birthday)
• Prince William marries Kate Middleton and now she's knocked up!
• Prez Barry got re-elected
• Niners made it to Superbowl XLVII
• Fiscal Cliff and Sequester --- big buzzwords!
• Lots of mass shootings :(

Here's what's happened to me since:

• Got into another car accident, drives a different car... again!
• Traveled to England and Paris, Maui, Dallas...
• Attended Commercial Lending School in Sacramento
• Recently resumed graduate program at GGU
• Started Zumba and Bikram Yoga
• Tried online dating --- will not disclose where, haha!  I kinda hate it really, but that story's for another day... or days...
• Visited the Philippines after 8 years

I think I have become a bore with age.  I'm reading this back to myself and it BORED me!  Oh well... I am a bit rusty.  A lot of things have definitely changed.  I feel like I want to be more open with my thoughts now than I was previously.  I highly doubt I will run for office so I should probably not worry about how the content of this blog could affect my future.  Tumblr's happened to the world, what have I got to be ashamed of with this blog. ;)

Good Friday?

Today's Good Friday. I've always observed traditional practices during Lent... not this year. To start with, it's not that easy to observe Lent after moving to the U.S. (also, I am part of the workforce now), but I have modified it a bit where I can still attend mass, do the confession, etc. I also abstain from doing something (usually shopping, eating meat) beginning Ash Wednesday and during the season's 40-day duration.

I am from a devout Catholic family. We attended mass regularly, I attended Catholic school from kindergarden through college, my brother was an altar-server, my sister and I were members of "Hijas de Maria" and the children's choir. I was even secretary of the Religion Club in high school. That's right, a club with a lot of praying involved.

Even with that background (which was pretty common if one was raised in the predominantly Catholic Philippines), I always considered myself a liberal Catholic. Liberal in the sense that I (to a certain extent) support pro-choice; I support birth control and contraception; I am all for same-sex marriage. Our mother always respected our beliefs, and gave us the right to walk our own religious paths. I chose the liberal path, taking with me the Catholic "essentials:" the 10 Commandments, knowing the 7 capital sins, support of charity and social justice. I may sound simple-minded and even naive, but it works for me.

So why is this Good Friday different from previous ones? You know when you've been in a long-term relationship and you want to take a breather for awhile... just to take in everything and assess the status of your relationship? That's how I feel right now as a Catholic. It's like you've been together for so long and you're just together because it's convenient and comfortable. Of course, this has been triggered by the whole "Catholic abuse scandals." It just made the question in my head all the more unavoidable: "Am I really a part of that church?" But FYI, I am still a believer, I don't think my relationship with God has changed. It's more like, "do I really want a middle man in our relationship?" Moreso, a middle man who tells you to follow all sorts of things while they sweep all sort of (kinky) things under the rug.

Am I just jumping the Anti-Catholic bandwagon? I don't know. It's one of those "hating-the-establishment" sentiment that I'm feeling right now. Should I explore other organized religion or be a "Cafeteria Catholic?" I really don't know.

One things for sure, I know I'll still end up going to Easter Sunday services. It can't be helped... especially when mom's around.

Chia Homer: The First Week

Over the joyful holiday season, a colleague of mine gave me a Homer Chia. He thought it was a brilliant idea but in my opinion I thought it kinda sucks that I'd have to take care of something (and he calls it a gift???). Don't get me wrong, I love Homer with all my heart but I don't have a green thumb and I suck at taking care of things in general --- this gift was bound for my "won't-ever-open" pile.

But the change of year brought about a change in me and all of a sudden, I felt that I should take Homer Chia on as a challenge, my first this 2010. I am going to make sure that Homer grows the lush 'fro as illustrated in the box:

As an afterthought (I know, this is what I meant by not knowing how to take care of things), I decided to document the progress of the 'fro's growth. Here's how it went down the first week:

DAY 1

Planting Homer's Head

Planting Homer's Head with instructions read by the soon-to-be famous Jason Vincent (also the donor of Chia Homer)

Chia Homer's home in the lunchroom

DAY 2

A gorgeous shot of Chia Homer's seeded back

Chia Homer smiling back at me, I think

DAY 3

Still no growth, WTF?

DAY 4

You know how I said that this was just an afterthought? Yeah, I forgot to take a picture on Day 4. What kind of scientist am I? I am not.

DAY 5

Chia Homer basking in the glorious sun... WITH SQUIGGLY STUFF GROWING!!!

A close up of the squigglies growing out of Chia Homer's head

So a week is technically 7 days, but since Chia Homer lives in a lunchroom, I'll follow the work week and end this 1st week on Day 5. I'm crossing my finger for lush foliage next week.

Stay tuned.

The Tonight Show Drama

My opinion: Jay Leno is a douche and I loved that Jimmy Kimmel ripped him apart like he did last night (I even watched the Jay Leno show intentionally). Sure, Jeff Zucker is the biggest douche of all the douches involved in this douchebaggery but it's just so easy to blame Jay Leno. His chin is an easy target, I guess.

It's sad that Conan is getting better ratings now that he's almost ending his helm on The Tonight Show desk. I'd love to see him on Comedy Central but Stewart/Colbert already has the late night slots covered. I am hoping not to watch him on Fox. Oh well, I will continue to watch this drama unfold.

Also, I hope he shows up on his tribute on Sunday. It would suck if he doesn't.

UPDATE: I just received an e-mail from the event organizers that Coco just cancelled. Sad face. I don't and can't really blame him though.

David Sedaris - Part Deux

Now that Christmas is over and Joe's opened his new favorite gift ever... I can now tell the story of how I came to find out the most mind-blowing fact of the year (see previous entry).

I went to another DS reading and I bought the Onion book he recommended (so I could have a book signed for me) and I said that the book was a rip-off bec it didn't' include my country, this was how our exchange went (imagine it with his voice):

DS: What country are you from?

Me: The Philippines

DS: Yeah, it's there... check the index

Me: (Flipping the pages) Oh yeah, it's there!

DS: I like the Philippines.

Me: W-w-what??? You've been there?

DS: Yes, in fact, I even went to Wowowee... it's pretty entertaining.

Me: (mind-blown)


So, I know they say, "if there are no pictures, it didn't happen," but whatever... he also said that he went to Hobbit House in Malate which I do wish I have a picture of... Macy*s Christmas Elf in the Hobbit House = WIN!

Mind-blowing fact of the year (or my lifetime even):

DAVID SEDARIS HAD BEEN TO WOWOWEE.

That.is.all.

The Jim and Pam Wedding: loved it or hated it? I haven't decided yet.

Test 1 2 3... Test 1 2 3...

Not Having the Best Week Ever: Countries on the Pacific

If there's a side of the world one should avoid right now, it is anything that lies on and along the Pacific Ocean. What's going on? Is 2012 coming sooner than expected or is this a marketing ploy from Sony Pictures? Both ideas are stupid and I'm sorry that I even brought them up.

Since last Saturday, three natural disasters have hit several countries in the Asian-Pacific and South Pacific regions and have claimed, about 1,000 lives (with more missing).

September 26 - Typhoon Ketsana/Ondoy which hit the Philippines on September 26, leaving behind the worst flooding in Metro Manila in the last 40 years. It went on to wreak havoc on Vietnam, Laos, and Cambodia.

Septemeber 29 - An undersea earthquake (8.0 magnitude, approx.) trigerred a powerful tsunami which devasted the islands of Samoa and American Samoa in the South Pacific.

September 30 - A 7.6 magnitude earthquake off Indonesia's Sumatra island in the coastal city of Pandang. Indonesia has been a hit by another quake earlier in the month and several lesser quakes have been reported since the 7.6 hit the island.

To a quick lesson on tectonic plates, click here.

Growing up in the Philippines, I have experienced typhoons, earthquakes and a major volcanic eruption. We were lucky enough to be living in an area that was not devastated by any of these natural disasters. I could hardly imagine living in Cainta or Marikina right now and my thoughts and prayers go out to those affected in the Philippines, Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia, Samoa, American Samoa and Indonesia.

Thanks AlJazeera!

A lot of fellow Pinoys have been complaining about the lack of coverage (in the US media) on the Manila floodings. Unless you have TFC or have access to the interwebs, you don't really hear much about it. I am always on Google News and the media outlets that have been covering about the unfortunate disaster comprised mostly of non-American news outlets, well except for CNN and AP. Anyway, if Pinoys want to read more about the typhoons and the devastation it left/will leave the Philippines, they should just head over to AlJazeera.

Snarkiness aside, please help out and donate however much you can. Here are just a couple of sites you could go to send in your help:

Ondoy Relief

UNICEF USA

ABS-CBN Foundation

Thank you.

Reminiscing

When I was attending college in Manila, I always stopped by National Bookstore in the famed Harrison Plaza shopping center and browse through rows and rows of magazines (mostly of the teeny-bopper kind, please don't judge). I have always had an insanely huge crush on Elijah Wood since his "The Good Son" days. It was so insane that I sent him two fan mails through his fan club. I never got a reply back, but that didn't make me hate him. Anyway, I remember committing a crime in NBS when one day, in a corner of a page of Big Bop magazine, I eyed the image of Elijah and just tore it off and kept it in my wallet. I don't know what made me do it. Raging hormones, I guess.

That said, I saw this cover of Elijah Wood while passing Barnes & Noble the other day. I was smitten.

But no, I did not tear this cover off. As you can see, the pic is a bit blurry. It's due to the guy who was sitting right next to this shelf who saw me taking this shot. I had to rush out of there before he reports a lurker (me) to store security.

Editor's Note: Harrison Plaza was the first shopping mall in the Philippines? Get out of here!

Just a thought...

You know that point in your life when you know something's definitely over?

I do.

Wish me luck.

Oh BTW, my heart was broken... AGAIN

After I read this, I heard my heart shatter into tiny little pieces afterwhich I then imagined Michael Bublè collect the bits and grind it further before snorting it up his nostril.

At least it's with Emily Blunt. I like her. Not that he needs my approval.

And that's how I ended my birthday month.

Lesson of the day: Don't ever say that "Korea is gay"

OK, so I'm not trying to start something here. This is really just a "moral of the story"-type of thing I learned from following the K-Pop industry.

WTF Korean netizens! I cannot get over the immense power these people yield in Korea. This is plain internet bullying but in a completely different level (like, X 1000!). In less than five days, someone’s career went kaput because of these no-life netizens. I suppose I could include myself in the demographic, but I refuse to be corralled in with this bat-shit insane group who would go as far as start a petition for someone to off himself.

Anyway, it makes me sad that that this is the event that made me post again. There have been so many things that have transpired from the last time I posted and I can’t believe that the latest “hot talk topic” in the Korean entertainment industry would be the one that made me go back to blogging.

Here are just a few of the (I guess) less important things that have happened in the last couple of months:

· March – had a car accident which totaled my car… AGAIN!
· April – went to the Coachella Music Festival with Joe
· May – Didi passed away a month shy of her 7th birthday *tears*
· June – what did happen in June? Oh shoot, Michael Jackson passed away *tears*
· July – left for a family vacation in Hawaii, where I’m sure I had H1N1
· August – turned 30! (with a precious gift of H1N1, hurrah!) *tears*, LOL, not really

As you can see, the year hasn’t really been great for me (thus, the hiatus). It seems like my Chinese horoscope for the current lunar year is true, I like reading horoscopes for fun and although I don’t necessarily believe in them I like putting coincidences together. Unfortunately for me, my Chinese horoscope outlook for the year of the ox wasn’t very good. Apparently, the ox doesn’t like the goat (my sign) so yeah, it’s been a sucky year. I was hoping that the lunar gods (or whoever’s in charge of “giving out luck”) would give me a reprieve since I turn 30 this year. No luck there either.

At least I get to post on 9-9-9. Happy 9-9-9! What could go wrong today? It’s the reverse of 6-6-6 so I’m sure it’s “happy” rather than “oh-my-god-the-apocalypse-is-coming.” Case in point: I am going to the Yeah Yeah Yeahs show tonight in Oakland, a belated birthday gift from a friend.

"Biting the hands that feeds you," in this case, replace hands with finger and add, "for realz 'yo"

I have had my guinea pig, Didi (see sidebar), for a little more than five years now. I got her from a friend who got it from another friend whose wife owned a daycare facility up until they moved to San Diego. To make the long story short, my friend who Didi (then referred to as P. Diddy) was given to, wasn't really a pet person and Didi eventually ended up in my loving care.

Fast forward to Sunday, 9-ish pm. I just gave Didi a bath and was brushing some matted fur off of her... Didi squealed, which was common everytime brushing was involved. She let out another squeal and the next thing I knew, my finger was bleeding profusely. Dang! I got bit by my freeloading pet! WTF?! --- This really wasn't my reaction, instead, I apologized to Didi for the harsh brushwork. I can't even look her in they eye, I think she hates me now.

This actually isn't the first time she's bitten me, the first time was an accident when her front teeth grazed my finger (it was an accident, I swear!). I got a tetanus shot the day after (they didn't give out rabies shots to rodent bites) and had a sore left arm for about five days. Since the shot was supposed to be good for five years, I didn't have to do anything after the most recent bite... although in the back of my head I was kinda scared that I'll wake up stiff and start frothing in the mouth. Anywho, that didn't happen and I am still alive. Unfortunately, I wasn't thinking fast enough to snap a picture of the bleeding mess.

Ed's Note: This picture isn't me or Didi. Didi's teeth are no shorter than this piggy though... and my nails are much shorter than this lady's nails.

New Favorite Show: RuPaul's Drag Race

Fierce! That's all I'd have to say about this show. Thanks to Logo for making it available online.

My favorite is Ongina, of course. I think Jade and Rebecca are the prettiest. Shannel is just one good drag queen. I am going to miss Tammy.

"Always remember: charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent... and don't f*ck it up!"

BWE TV's Make-Your-Own-Album-Cover Challenge: My Entry.

Pretty cool eh? I guess by disease, it refers to people afflicted with doing stupid things in the middle of the road. I'm thinking my band plays world music... with a hint of preachiness to it.

Here are the rules:

1 - Go to “wikipedia.” Hit “Random Article”
or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random

The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2 - Go to “Random quotations”
or click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.

3 - Go to flickr and click on “explore the last seven days”
or click http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days
Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4 - Use Photoshop/MS Paint or similar to put it all together.

5- Post it in the comments! (Using Imageshack or any photo hoster)

My Contribution to the Interwebs...

I have a couple of sites that I frequent in the interwebs (see list on the left side of the screen). Out of those sites that don't include the news sites, I visit bwe.tv daily, and pretty much refresh it every 30 minutes or so. I used to be a lurker until I decided to join in on the fun and started to be a regular commenter, not on everything, but mostly TV show recaps and on posts that interests me most.

They have recently started "Blingee Wednesdays" and since it's run, I've only missed submitting an entry once ("Judy Law"). This week it was Hugh Jackman, and wow, the entries were blingingly amazing! Out of the 121 entries, they chose the Top 40, and guess who made #3...

Myspace Glitter Graphics

I've made it.




Ed's Note: I have to agree with the #1 pick though, Jo's blingee was the.best.ever. Also, I'll be posting all my Blingeefied creations for everyone's (me) viewing pleasure. Disclaimer: Seizures may happen if you stare at Blingees too much.

What will become of the Masturbating Bear?

I have been watching the last couple of episodes of "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" before it signs off and he starts his hosting duties in "The Tonight Show" ... in LA.... at 11:30 pm. This move is making me sad. I'm sure Conan will do an awesome job replacing Jay Leno, what I don't understand is the move to LA, is it really necessary? I don't know, maybe because it's been 16 years already, but I associate Conan with NY, the same way SNL and David Letterman also equate to NY.

What will happen to the Masturbating Bear? The Horny Manatee? Will I see them in LA? Please tell me I will!

Anyway, tonight was awesome... the string dance-off with Colbert, Carrie Fisher helping TMB escape and clips from previous shows (including Hunter Thompson).