Still Grieving - Part 2

I have not posted for a while because the last couple of weeks have been “eventful” that I cannot get myself to participate in any recent bloggery.

On the very same day that I wrote my last post of the year (11/27), my “Lola” (grandmother) was taken to the hospital***. There were frantic phone calls every couple of minutes and so, and I have decided to take off work early and go to the hospital. She wasn't looking very good and it was painful to see her in that condition. I didn't go to work the next two days, busy shuttling people to and from the hospital, picking people up from the airport, babysitting my "Lolo" (grandfather). Lola Juling was moved to the ICU and everyday, one little corner of the ICU wing became "our" corner. One can go visit anytime of the day and find at least one family member reading the paper, one knitting or crocheting, one playing Sudoku (well, there's at least 3 of us doing that), and several people eating. Everyday in that hospital wing became an impromptu potluck party. Similar to what my cousin Jen said, it's always a party when it comes to our Lola.

We were there in the hospital day in and out, but we knew: our Lola Juling is going to leave us all soon. Only a month gone in the States, my nanay (mom) came back Saturday the week my Lola Juling was admitted in the hospital. She was the only one away amongst the siblings, and they were pretty much just waiting for her so they could make the decision. That was also the night that we got kicked out of the ICU wing (thanks to my niece, Ella who's reaching her "terrible two's" phase a bit too fast), people were getting emotional and I guess it can't be helped if you are made to decide on whether to hold on or let go. They did make the decision to let go.

The next day (Sunday), our family packed the waiting area of the ICU wing as usual. Everyone, even the little ones, got to go in Lola Juling's room and bid their goodbyes --- the children (i.e. my nanay and her sibs) decided to take the ventilator tube out of Lola, it was to be done around noon. After praying the rosary, the neurologist came in the waiting room to talk to the family, reassuring the family that Lola Juling would feel no pain when the tube is taken out. It was nice to hear that, yet saddening that our last moments with Lola Juling was upon us. Around noon, several family members, including myself, attended the Sunday service at the hospital chapel. On the walk back to the waiting area, we found out that Lola Juling had passed on peacefully. She was 88.

The next couple of days were busy days of getting everything and everyone organized for the viewing and the funeral service, there were also the novena, prayers for 9 evenings that were held at Lola Juling's house. For my part, I did everything I could to help, I was still picking people up from the airport, and have started sleeping over at my Lola's, accompanying my Lolo and my Aunt. I have missed all my night classes, these two weeks were for Lola Juling.

The funeral service was gray and wet, but we took it as a blessing, that the heavens were crying with us that day. I couldn't say I was happy that day, but I was not completely sad as well. I guess I was just glad that she led a happy life and that she was a beloved lady (just by looking at how many people paid their respects), and that she passed on peacefully, without any struggles. (Although, I did break down a bit during the mass at church --- I just recalled how it was only a year before where we gathered with family and friends to celebrate my Lolo and Lola's 60th wedding anniversary).

One night while driving to my sister's with my nanay, I was telling her how lucky I was to have had experienced 2 Lolas in 2 different ways: My paternal Lola who we grew up with and who helped in taking care of us in the Philippines (she passed away when I was 9) and my maternal Lola who we enjoyed taking care of now that we've grown up (I moved here when I was 21). They were two different Lolas but I loved them both the same.

On January 10th, my family is going to celebrate the 40th day of her passing. It's a traditional thing, although I am not aware of its origins. It's for Lola Juling so it's definitely going to be a party. :)

***She had intra-cranial hemorrhage due to stroke. She was able to contact 911 and an aunt that day before they found her unconscious in bed.